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 Evolving Families Blog

Dads Designing Differently

6/11/2018

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​JUNE BLOG-DADS 2018
Hi…
I’d like to invite you to join me in a unique opportunity. In this Blog, we’ll get to hear from three Dads as they share a glimpse of their fathering journeys with us!
 
In my work with beautiful Moms and Babes I often have the opportunity to meet awesome Dads!
Dads who are making life style choices that support their increasing desire to be engaged and available as partners and parents.
 
Is Mountaintop Fathering going out of style?
Do you remember the story of Bambi? There is a poignant scene where Bambi’s father, the great king of the forest stands on top of a mountain and looks down at his young son, luckily with proud and approving eyes. Did they ever actually meet?
 
Are Epic Quests losing their appeal?
For millennia, men have gone on quests often lasting years at a time and women have raised children on their own.
 
Odysseus, the Greek warrior spent years at sea and while he was away he hired a “Mentor” to care for Telemachus, his son. The Mentor was actually the goddess Athena in disguise!
 
Shiva, the great and powerful Hindu God went off to the forest to meditate for years at a time leaving Parvati, his wife alone and praying to the Gods for a son to keep her company. When the Gods granted her wish and Shiva returned, he didn’t even recognize his own son!
 
In J.R.R. Tolkein’s infamous tale of The Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, a company of dwarves and Gandalf, the wizard set off on a great adventure to slay a fierce dragon and recover the gold they claim is theirs.
 
The New England whalers sought high-risk adventure upon the seas with a promise of fame and fortune for themselves and their families. If they returned that is. The image of wives and children keeping watch on “widow’s peaks” for the mere glimpse of a ship on the horizon has spurred many spellbinding tales.
 
In more modern times, the nine-five workday, commuter train and business trips have replaced the quests of old. Still, Dads have been largely absent and Moms have been in charge of child raising.
 
How is it possible to change the role of Father with such a powerful history of absenteeism from the family scene?
 
Here are three Dads who are willing to share their thoughts and hearts with us.
 
Meet Adam, Mike and Anthony
Adam and Kate have a beautiful daughter Alice who is now 21 months old.
 
Mike and Chris are the parents of Mikey, age 4 years and Mia, who is now 20 months old.
 
Anthony and Charlie are the parents of Johan, who is now 16 months old.
 
Recently, I asked Adam, Mike and Anthony this question:
 
What are three things you love about being a Dad?
 
Here is how Adam answered the question:
 
PLAY
The free form games that emerge from whatever is lying on the floor of her room or artifacts we find on our nature walks (now that she has discovered pockets!)
 
HUGS
From the perfunctory, “Dad-wants-a-hug” hugs to the light, “I’m- feeling-scared-or-sad” hugs to the exciting, “I’m-going-to-dive-into-your-arms!” hugs.
 
LOVE
Standing witness to an emerging multi-dimensionality of love for my wife that is a tapestry of joy, humor, patience, passion and (above all) respect for her intuition.
 
Wow, Adam thank you!
 
 
Here’s how Mike answered the question:
 
I love having two young souls to guide through life
 
I love how they bring out the kid in me.
 
I love that my kids know how to cheer me up when I’m feeling down.
 
So Beautiful, Mike thank you!
 
 
Here’s how Anthony answered the question:
 
Watching my son grow is a wonderful experience, especially seeing him evolve and develop his personality and curiosity.
 
Being a Dad gives me a deep sense of purpose and optimism.
 
I love playing with him. I love my son.
 
Thank you Anthony. Your words touch my heart.
 
 
Here is the NEW QUEST.

This is a quest of the heart. Opening one’s heart to a love more powerful than any takes tremendous courage, perhaps even more courage than harpooning a whale, slaying a dragon or navigating the perils of the high seas.
 
The heart of the father has been missing for most of human history. These Dads are among a growing tribe of men who are bringing heart and soul into fathering.
 
Thank you Adam, Mike and Anthony for having the courage to design differently! Above all, thank you for sharing your hearts with us. Your choices ripple outward, positively impacting your partners, children, families, communities and all those you meet.
 
If you enjoyed this Blog, which of course I hope you have,
Please leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you!
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    Deborah Dayal

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